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Play Your Way to Self-Acceptance-6 Week Online Course NOW AVAILABLE

WE WILL BE STARTING OCTOBER 2, 2019

I’ve gotta say that for many years…Joy was a sign I hung up on my wall during the Ho-Ho Holidays!   

But now I’ve discovered the meaning of belly laughs and liking ME!   No, I’m not giggling and skipping around every day like 7-year-old Vikki, but I am doing a couple of things that I never thought I’d be!

  •  My 46-year-old adult Vikki now does laugh and play every day! (Almost)
  •   Letting go of the “shoulds” and “supposed to’s” and f**king    expectations I THOUGHT everyone had for me. 
  •  Accepting myself as I am – Good, Bad, Awkward, and Awesome!  

I’m navigating the playground of our adult land with true Self-Acceptance.  

The bullies can go pound sand or not.  I don’t care.

Just imagine that the big jerk in the office sends a passive-aggressive zinger your way, and it bounces off of me and sticks to you (such person in the office), meanie!  

The 6 weeks Online Group coaching – PLAY YOUR WAY TO SELF-ACCEPTANCE will start the 1st week of October.  What’s included??

  1. 6 weeks of group coaching Zoom calls
  2. 1  One-on-One coaching session
  3. Accountability Group or Partner (Depending on Class size)
  4. Over 10 activities throughout the course to bring the joy back to your life.

Click here to sign up today for this course $375 for the entire course! Course begins October 2nd!

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I don’t have to know how to do it all….YAY!

Today I did one of my daily readings and it was about admitting when I don’t know how to do something! WHAT? I remember when I first started out in sales how I fixated on what if they ask me something I don’t know. My wonderful boss, best boss I’ve ever had, would tell me to just keep trying to get meetings and make connections? I would make the phone call to the person and THE PERSON WOULD ANSWER….and then I would freeze or say something like. “Do you use this service?” Which is a big kick your self in the gut move, because they would just say No….Yes/No questions are not the best when it comes to engaging conversation.

My product was a servce and there were many facets to that service and my mind would have exploded if I learned it all in one day. Therefore it was a learn as you go kinda deal and I learned to embrace the process, eventually.

What I discovered was people want you to admit when you don’t know. Not one client in 12 years stumped me and said because you don’t have an answer..you go pound sand! They certainly could sense my energy when I didn’t know and anyone that is lying is pretty much done with that prospect/opportunity. So, I would admit I didn’t know and promised to get back to them with an answer! Guess what that built more trust than knowing all of the answers ever did!

So, now I ponder how can I apply that skill to other parts of my life? It’s quite liberating and refreshing to admit when I don’t understand, don’t know or really even don’t remember. The other day I was trying to figure out how to connect my computer with a mixer and an audio interfacer-thingy for the podcast I do with my friends. Telling on Ourselves, check it out I admit all the time when I don’t know how to do things! Usually it’s quite funny and a wee bit embarrassing! So, as I sat with this amazing equipment I followed the directions, I googled, I YouTubed, I went to the website and learned that equipment was bought by a different company. And I discovered that the software on my computer was not compatible. ARRGH…SO DISAPPOINTING!

I still wanted to make sure so I reached out to an expert I know and we talked it through and what I found out was that my curiosity and ability to not know and admit it was an asset. I was on the right track and I now am researching other options.

One thing I can tell you is I will get this working one way or another and I’m grateful for my practice of admitting to others and myself that SOMETIMES I JUST DON’T KNOW! AND THAT IS OK! I am still awkward and very awesome for being true to myself! Not only did it help me in my work but it helps me in all kinds of life stuff. The freedom and wisdom in not knowing and learning more is a powerful tool in growth and becoming a better me!!

This skill and many others are things that I will be sharing in my business helping women become their awesome selves! If you are interested in learning about how I can help do sign up here to learn more or the closed Facebook group for the Awkward and Awesome Tribe!

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Along Came Tally: My Imaginary Friend and Bad Roommate

Yes I’m 46 and yes I have an imaginary friend! I’m going to name her, Tally. I imagine most of you do too you just don’t even realize it! Yesterday she was telling me to just hide out and stay home. She wanted me all to herself. She’s a brat, and frankly not very nice. She is always picking on me and saying I have no business living this creative and exceptional life I have. She said ” Vikki, you are so far behind why even start? Might as well give up now!”

One thing I have learned in my self-improvement journey is to let go of the people that hurt me. So I’ve always tried evicting her. But somehow she finds a way back in! ARRRGH

I was speaking with a friend and she gave me a new perspective on this roommate. She recommended that instead of evicting her, why don’t I love her? Why don’t I give her a different job? So this reminded me the idea that Hurt people Hurt people. And that quite possibly my friend Tally is just a hurt and scared part of me.

I have decided to give Tally a job that she can feel good about and give her the opportunity to be healed. She’s knows how to clear a room, so I will let her clean up the clutter. That should keep her busy. When I get things done, I always feel better.

Now, earlier I said you probably have an imaginary friend, too. And don’t worry you aren’t crazy, you are just human. Doubt and fear and our life experiences bring out these self-limiting beliefs. My roommate usually shows up right during the climb of reaching goals.

Today I will remind Tally, that everything is well. Life is not meant to be fearful and maybe through my example she will learn that she’s alright! I highly recommend you embrace your Imaginary friend, even name her and redirect her and help her heal!

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Are you a human go-go-going?

I don’t know about you, but I have recently been learning a skill in which I never had.  It is BEING.  You see I am a good old Midwestern American girl that has been practicing the habit of hard work and dedication!  It is a good thing and I truly value that skill and it gave me so much in terms of experience, security, and connections.  However, I was very rarely present in important moments or for important people.  If I wasn’t working I was talking about or thinking about work.  I learned so much, but I was running on empty. You see I was a human going, not a human being.  It’s who I am, very energetic, a people pleaser, a helper (#2 if you know enneagram), basically a professional busy body!

This year has been a year of epic change.  I left a job that became very toxic to me personally and it was probably one of the most difficult decisions because I loved my team and my boss.  But I didn’t feel that I was able to speak my truth or get solutions for my team.  I didn’t feel valued and I decided that I was valuable actually!

I got a job at a great company next as an individual contributor again and then was recruited out to get back into management.  I thought that this was it, the dream job.  Well, somehow my spirit blew that up.  After 20 days that job was done, we didn’t fit.  I was pretty devastated, scared and at the same time felt a calm in my soul.

You see I tried to do my own thing a couple of years prior and it never got its feet off the ground.  It was time and fear that held me back and it simply wasn’t time.  Well, it feels like the Universe, Spirit, Divine, God, whatever it is basically pushed me out of the nest.  So now it’s almost as if I have to do this.  I have to try to build a business for myself.  Space where I can help others and facilitate growth.  I  will share my experiences to help other women who feel like I felt.  Being in a box that everyone put us in and that we stayed in.  I believe that we are all miracles and that we can all be fulfilled if we stay in the right frame of mind and practice self-care.

I’ve been working hard on getting it together and I’m starting messy.  So if you are interested in being on my mailing list please let me know.  I will be hosting a free workshop and doing a live Facebook call.  Please look out for more info and sign up with your email address below!

Peace and hugs,

Vikki

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My morning ritual

So today I was inspired to record and post a new video about how I start my day.  Vulnerability alert – I taped it with no makeup on, which is a “thing” for me and that’s ok.  It’s just a short glimpse of the morning ritual I am cultivating to stay centered in my recovery.

When I first got sober I DID NOT believe in God whatsoever! Through working the steps, going to meetings, working with others and a lot of prayer to someone else’s higher power I discovered a new experience.  This is an integral part of recovery that I thought I would absolutely fail.  At the tables, they told me to keep coming back and use the group and just be open minded.  The gift is that I did all of those things and somehow it has allowed me to not only stay sober but find a feeling of peace and contentment in my heart that I never knew existed.

You see I was always stressed.  Even as a child I remember being blue, or not feeling good enough or feeling like I didn’t belong.  There was an underlying current that I was going to do something wrong or something bad was going to happen.  I had zero freedom from those negative thoughts.  I’m sure when I was really little that wasn’t true, but as long as I can remember riding my bike around the neighborhood it must have been around 3rd or 4th grade if I had to guess.  And over the years it just intensified.

You would probably have never guessed it by looking at me.  I had a great face of happiness and pretended pretty well.  Of course, there were times of fun and joy, but that current of self-loathing was always running underneath.  When I discovered alcohol that was truly the first time that that current went away!  It was as if there were magic and release and I could breathe easier.  For many years I was able to successfully drink and live a good life.  However, whenever something really bad happened I was drunk.  Those bad things started to culminate and occur more often.  Then my desire to stop the current came more and more and alcohol was my boss.  It had me.  If I wasn’t drinking or smoking weed, I was obsessing about when I could.  The merry go round many of the people in recovery and not yet in recovery experience.

So, nine years ago I walked in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and my life has been forever changed.  It took some time of being clear minded and most importantly working the 12 steps.  But EUREKA, I have been able to stop that current.  Now I have a new current and it’s one of contentment and peace.  I really didn’t think that was real or even possible.  In fact, I thought people who said they were happy were full of it.

So today I have found it through so many different strategies.  Strategies I’ve learned in the rooms, through great books and self-help/self-improvement guides.  Through a lot of quiet time and prayer.  Every day is a fresh start a chance to get that higher power, God, the Divine Source whatever I call it doesn’t matter.  It fills me up when I allow it to and has made me a better and happier human being.

Here is my morning ritual as it is right now.  If you’re in recovery don’t compare what you do to what I do.  I hope that it can help you and give some examples of how I have discovered and learned and evolved my practice.  If you are not in recovery I hope you can gain some insight as well.

As they say in the program, take what you like and leave the rest!

 

 

 

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Shifting Gears

I have an influx of time on my hands and have decided to get back to my blog!  I’ve been getting back to the idea of Relentless Forward Motion and boy do I need that right now.  My life has been stripped of my normal and I am now in-between the next phase of this journey.

There is a freedom and fear involved in this time for me.  Ultimately I am extremely grateful for my program of recovery because it has provided me with the evidence that getting through the rough roads IS ATTAINABLE.  Because I have gotten through many pot holes along this road.  It has also given me faith in a power greater than me and my own simple thoughts.  I have an inner knowing that all will be well and this struggle will be able to help other people gain some clarity or courage.rough roads 3

I’m throwing it out there that I will be committing to myself and all ya’all to continue with this blog throughout.  My purpose here is to be a source of fuel for others that may be going through a rough patch.  What does relentless forward motion mean?  How do I put that into action?  Who has helped me along the way?  Where has it saved my bootie?  When do we know that we are in forward motion?

Today I will ponder that as I check my blog post off the list!  It is one step closer to building my dream of being a co-pilot in our road trip of life!

Be good to yourself and do one thing today that will help you grow!

If you are interested in getting on the email list please share your information here!  I’m hoping to connect with people interested in bettering themselves and others! img_3834

 

 

 

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The Blogher18Health conference I had the chance to attend was such a moving and energizing experience.  Hats off to the organizers and speakers at this event.   I had no expectations and an open mind on my way there.   I am brand new to this and what a way to start it out!  I was inspired, stretched, touched, and motivated to grow as a human, woman, blogger and friend.

The energy in the room was empowering, exciting, and fulfilling as a blogger, and more importantly as a woman.  So what did I learn from the conference?

  1.  Contacts and Connections are key. I met some lovely ladies that were smart, funny, go getters, and kind.  Everyone I got to connect with was encouraging and willing to share their knowledge.  I felt this connection of support and encouragement both days.  It reminds me of the quote “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”  James Keller.  Women rooting for each other, sharing what they have learned and a lot of laughter!  I was lucky to have a conversation with a gem of an entrepreneur and she was so kind to give me the encouragement to go get it!  We shared the idea that we can learn from the mistakes of those that have paved the way before us.  Thank you Tam!
  2. Find your passion and your niche audience.  A particularly important lesson for me as I kick off this journey.  The theme of know your audience which is an imperative rule of thumb for bloggers and businesses alike.  We learned that discovery and learning with your audience can be a dynamic and valuable experience.
  3. Togetherness– (not sure that is a word) I have never experienced such a moving and energetic group dynamic I’ve been a part of in a very long time.  The strength and collaboration that took place at this event was a gift to be a part of.  The inspiration from the strong, successful and forward moving people was contagious.

As I discover my place in this new world of blogging I am grateful for the experience.  This social media stuff is powerful and daunting, but a challenge that I am excited to discover.

Thank you to Arianna Huffington for the reminder that although we are using this incredible technology, we still need to be present with our family and ourselves.

Relentless Forward Motion!

Vikki

How one book has changed the way I look at things!

I usually cringe when I hear the words”game-changer”, “Circle back”, and “wheelhouse”. In fact it was addressed on my podcast a few weeks ago and of course all those words keep coming up! With that said, as I shrug, when I did read this book it was a REAL GAME CHANGER in my life and the way I viewed so many different aspects of the journey I have been on. The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz is one book I do have on my nightstand, and I can read it and re-read it again and again.

It’s always interesting when you come across something that you didn’t see the last time you were turning the pages. The book is based on Toltec Wisdom and it has so much in there about how to transform your life and help you review your thinking.

Agreement number one is BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD. This is important to me because I try to live an honest life with integrity. That is one of the tenants of my recovery program and it has become a way of life.

Am I always impeccable with my word…that’s a great big no! It isn’t easy doing that as a mom of teenagers. (Ha Ha) What it means to me is to be real. That is something I have always placed in the important column in life. Even before recovery that was important to me, but now I actually live that way and am usually successful. I have always loved and appreciated a tell it like it is person.

Especially in my career in sales, it was so refreshing to work with clients and be direct and clear with each other. It made the service and any challenges so much easier to be successful and to be effective. I believe that is exactly how it can work in all relationships.

If we are impeccable with our word it takes away the confusion and uncertainty that we all feel at times. We don’t have to be tie ourselves up in knots because we aren’t sure what people mean or project our thoughts into their words.

So today I will practice this agreement and do the best that I can to be impeccable with my word.

Sign up here for our email list and a chance to win the book The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz

Awkward & Awesome – Finding my way there!

When I was trying to figure out what to call this I was brainstorming and came up with some great names. There was a lot of deep stuff and it was nice, and pretty and who knows I may use one in the future so I will keep those in the vault for now. But none were feeling quite right. There was something missing.

Because, I’m silly and the “empowered’ or “inspired” type names just didn’t quite share that piece of me and the truth of my growth process. One of my strengths is that I am honest, sometimes uncomfortably or maybe even awkwardly. I can’t help it. There are certain people who can just tell by the look on my face that I am not comfortable. The good news is that in recovery rigorous honesty is encouraged. So I’ve gotten nine years of practice! Not to mention therapy before sobriety, and some incredible self help books and workshops galore since then.

I recently started a podcast with two of my friends. After hearing yourself talk (once you get past the part of how icky your voice sounds) about my stuff I was reminded of a quote that I love. I WILL SEDUCE YOU WITH MY AWKWARDNESS.

Since I was little I was always a wee bit different/awkward. I remember I wouldn’t be allowed to knock on anyones door until 8am and I would be so bored and lonely. I would ride my bike around the neighborhood and sing sad songs from Grease or AirSupply to myself feeling oh so lonely. I would round the corner to the school park, dramatically put my bike down and get on the swings dragging my feet and spinning around. Because it was the crack of dawn and no one was awake yet I would swing and sing out loud. I can picture myself bellowing out “Don’t cry out loud, learn how to hide your feelings, fly high and cry…..” Well, if that song isn’t a cog in the stuff your feelings machine.

It became a trend this melancholy girl thing. Through jr high and high school and I was good at hiding it, but it was somehow this underlying thing that just had me feeling less than. Which is also bizarre because I was a big joiner, president of student council and in all the plays in high school. That flare for the dramatic came in handy!

Then came the party and drinking really helped me to not feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. It was fun for a while but got ugly and then eventually unbearable. When I was 37 I can picture myself again on those swings and singing Pink’s song Sober, “I don’t wanna be the girl that laughs the loudest.”

That was the beautiful breakthrough moment deciding to get help and my journey to becoming awesome. It’s not always perfect, in fact as I change and grow it IS AWKWARD. But I will awkwardly stumble my way to awesome any day, than go back to swinging on the swings sad!

Peace & Hugs