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Are you a human go-go-going?

I don’t know about you, but I have recently been learning a skill in which I never had.  It is BEING.  You see I am a good old Midwestern American girl that has been practicing the habit of hard work and dedication!  It is a good thing and I truly value that skill and it gave me so much in terms of experience, security, and connections.  However, I was very rarely present in important moments or for important people.  If I wasn’t working I was talking about or thinking about work.  I learned so much, but I was running on empty. You see I was a human going, not a human being.  It’s who I am, very energetic, a people pleaser, a helper (#2 if you know enneagram), basically a professional busy body!

This year has been a year of epic change.  I left a job that became very toxic to me personally and it was probably one of the most difficult decisions because I loved my team and my boss.  But I didn’t feel that I was able to speak my truth or get solutions for my team.  I didn’t feel valued and I decided that I was valuable actually!

I got a job at a great company next as an individual contributor again and then was recruited out to get back into management.  I thought that this was it, the dream job.  Well, somehow my spirit blew that up.  After 20 days that job was done, we didn’t fit.  I was pretty devastated, scared and at the same time felt a calm in my soul.

You see I tried to do my own thing a couple of years prior and it never got its feet off the ground.  It was time and fear that held me back and it simply wasn’t time.  Well, it feels like the Universe, Spirit, Divine, God, whatever it is basically pushed me out of the nest.  So now it’s almost as if I have to do this.  I have to try to build a business for myself.  Space where I can help others and facilitate growth.  I  will share my experiences to help other women who feel like I felt.  Being in a box that everyone put us in and that we stayed in.  I believe that we are all miracles and that we can all be fulfilled if we stay in the right frame of mind and practice self-care.

I’ve been working hard on getting it together and I’m starting messy.  So if you are interested in being on my mailing list please let me know.  I will be hosting a free workshop and doing a live Facebook call.  Please look out for more info and sign up with your email address below!

Peace and hugs,

Vikki

My morning ritual

So today I was inspired to record and post a new video about how I start my day.  Vulnerability alert – I taped it with no makeup on, which is a “thing” for me and that’s ok.  It’s just a short glimpse of the morning ritual I am cultivating to stay centered in my recovery.

When I first got sober I DID NOT believe in God whatsoever! Through working the steps, going to meetings, working with others and a lot of prayer to someone else’s higher power I discovered a new experience.  This is an integral part of recovery that I thought I would absolutely fail.  At the tables, they told me to keep coming back and use the group and just be open minded.  The gift is that I did all of those things and somehow it has allowed me to not only stay sober but find a feeling of peace and contentment in my heart that I never knew existed.

You see I was always stressed.  Even as a child I remember being blue, or not feeling good enough or feeling like I didn’t belong.  There was an underlying current that I was going to do something wrong or something bad was going to happen.  I had zero freedom from those negative thoughts.  I’m sure when I was really little that wasn’t true, but as long as I can remember riding my bike around the neighborhood it must have been around 3rd or 4th grade if I had to guess.  And over the years it just intensified.

You would probably have never guessed it by looking at me.  I had a great face of happiness and pretended pretty well.  Of course, there were times of fun and joy, but that current of self-loathing was always running underneath.  When I discovered alcohol that was truly the first time that that current went away!  It was as if there were magic and release and I could breathe easier.  For many years I was able to successfully drink and live a good life.  However, whenever something really bad happened I was drunk.  Those bad things started to culminate and occur more often.  Then my desire to stop the current came more and more and alcohol was my boss.  It had me.  If I wasn’t drinking or smoking weed, I was obsessing about when I could.  The merry go round many of the people in recovery and not yet in recovery experience.

So, nine years ago I walked in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and my life has been forever changed.  It took some time of being clear minded and most importantly working the 12 steps.  But EUREKA, I have been able to stop that current.  Now I have a new current and it’s one of contentment and peace.  I really didn’t think that was real or even possible.  In fact, I thought people who said they were happy were full of it.

So today I have found it through so many different strategies.  Strategies I’ve learned in the rooms, through great books and self-help/self-improvement guides.  Through a lot of quiet time and prayer.  Every day is a fresh start a chance to get that higher power, God, the Divine Source whatever I call it doesn’t matter.  It fills me up when I allow it to and has made me a better and happier human being.

Here is my morning ritual as it is right now.  If you’re in recovery don’t compare what you do to what I do.  I hope that it can help you and give some examples of how I have discovered and learned and evolved my practice.  If you are not in recovery I hope you can gain some insight as well.

As they say in the program, take what you like and leave the rest!

 

 

 

Shifting Gears

I have an influx of time on my hands and have decided to get back to my blog!  I’ve been getting back to the idea of Relentless Forward Motion and boy do I need that right now.  My life has been stripped of my normal and I am now in-between the next phase of this journey.

There is a freedom and fear involved in this time for me.  Ultimately I am extremely grateful for my program of recovery because it has provided me with the evidence that getting through the rough roads IS ATTAINABLE.  Because I have gotten through many pot holes along this road.  It has also given me faith in a power greater than me and my own simple thoughts.  I have an inner knowing that all will be well and this struggle will be able to help other people gain some clarity or courage.rough roads 3

I’m throwing it out there that I will be committing to myself and all ya’all to continue with this blog throughout.  My purpose here is to be a source of fuel for others that may be going through a rough patch.  What does relentless forward motion mean?  How do I put that into action?  Who has helped me along the way?  Where has it saved my bootie?  When do we know that we are in forward motion?

Today I will ponder that as I check my blog post off the list!  It is one step closer to building my dream of being a co-pilot in our road trip of life!

Be good to yourself and do one thing today that will help you grow!

If you are interested in getting on the email list please share your information here!  I’m hoping to connect with people interested in bettering themselves and others! img_3834

 

 

 

The Blogher18Health conference I had the chance to attend was such a moving and energizing experience.  Hats off to the organizers and speakers at this event.   I had no expectations and an open mind on my way there.   I am brand new to this and what a way to start it out!  I was inspired, stretched, touched, and motivated to grow as a human, woman, blogger and friend.

The energy in the room was empowering, exciting, and fulfilling as a blogger, and more importantly as a woman.  So what did I learn from the conference?

  1.  Contacts and Connections are key. I met some lovely ladies that were smart, funny, go getters, and kind.  Everyone I got to connect with was encouraging and willing to share their knowledge.  I felt this connection of support and encouragement both days.  It reminds me of the quote “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”  James Keller.  Women rooting for each other, sharing what they have learned and a lot of laughter!  I was lucky to have a conversation with a gem of an entrepreneur and she was so kind to give me the encouragement to go get it!  We shared the idea that we can learn from the mistakes of those that have paved the way before us.  Thank you Tam!
  2. Find your passion and your niche audience.  A particularly important lesson for me as I kick off this journey.  The theme of know your audience which is an imperative rule of thumb for bloggers and businesses alike.  We learned that discovery and learning with your audience can be a dynamic and valuable experience.
  3. Togetherness– (not sure that is a word) I have never experienced such a moving and energetic group dynamic I’ve been a part of in a very long time.  The strength and collaboration that took place at this event was a gift to be a part of.  The inspiration from the strong, successful and forward moving people was contagious.

As I discover my place in this new world of blogging I am grateful for the experience.  This social media stuff is powerful and daunting, but a challenge that I am excited to discover.

Thank you to Arianna Huffington for the reminder that although we are using this incredible technology, we still need to be present with our family and ourselves.

Relentless Forward Motion!

Vikki

Kindness Rocks

Tonight I went to visit a friend at her house and she shared something she discovered in Cedar Falls, Iowa with me.  Apparently there is a movement of rocks, and rocks with words, and rocks with Kind words (hopefully).  She has been creating them in her home after her visit recently and she pulled down the rainbow or acrylic paints and other tools and a panting we did go.

The idea is you write something good & positive and leave it somewhere people can see and hopefully pick up and use for some inspiration.  I am a quote girl.  I have quote pictures, coffee mugs, & handmade paintings all over the place.  It actually makes my daughter cringe a little, but her uncle says she will love it when she gets older.

I am not a spectacular painter, but I find it very calming to paint.  So the gift of these rocks is to personally make them and to give them away.   I always believe in helping others and giving away what has been so freely given to me.  Kindness rocks are a perfect way to do just that.  The cost is minimal to share a little good in this sometimes crazy and stressful world.

My friend said she’s been leaving them at places she goes regularly and she has come back and all have been taken! Hopefully they are on someones desk or in their pocket or purse.  It makes me think of the ripple effect of throwing a rock in a lake and hopefully it touches many!

Have fun with the Kindness rocks if you give them or receive them.

Talk soon!

Vikki IMG_2746